Hi! I'm Nicole, a young single parent! I had my daughter when I was 16. Having a hard time being one? Ask Me Anything!

Nikki Plasabas
Sep 16, 2017

I unexpectedly got pregnant at the age of 15. The situation was not easy for me my parents were very disappointed because I was still at high school during those times. It took 6 months for them to know that I was pregnant. My family had accepted my situation and they supported me all the way up to this time.

Raising a child as a single parent is not easy but I am lucky that I have my family and God who is always there for me. I've been through hell and back when my beautiful daughter was growing up. I had to sleep less, wipe her ass, feed her, bathe her, dress her up and everything in between. All these things mentioned were new to me and it was a complete struggle. I had to wake up in the middle of the night to make sure she's okay.

Today, she's a toddler and is in school. I believer I've done a great job raising a beautiful and respectful kid.

Nikki Plasabas says:

This AMA will end Sep 16, 2017 5PM EDT



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If you could turn the clock back, is there anything you would have done differently?

Sep 18, 7:15PM EDT0

There's nothing that I would like to change and done differently. I may have wrong decisions and wrong moves but those mistakes helped me to become what I am today. It helped to be strong and mature. I am happy for what I am today 

Sep 18, 7:47PM EDT0

What is the best advice you can give to young girls in the same situation?

Sep 18, 4:05PM EDT0

I would advice them to do all things that will make your child happy and your parents proud. In making a decision, big or small, you should always consider the welfare of your child. Always bear in mind that you have a responsibility as a mother. Always make time for your child no matter how busy you are

Sep 18, 7:42PM EDT0

How much involvement do your parents have on the upbringing of your daughter?

Sep 18, 11:54AM EDT0

My parents were the one who helped me raised my child, they were the one who helped me cope with the hard situation I was in to. They were my back bone. Without them maybe I would not make it this fa

Sep 18, 7:40PM EDT0

Have you been able to begin a career and if so what are you doing?

Sep 18, 9:20AM EDT0

As of now, I am a graduating student and I sell clothes online to have income to be able to somehow make my daughter happy and buy her needs. I am planning to continue doing my business after I graduate and I am planning to go overseas to find a stable income

Sep 18, 7:38PM EDT0

Is there still a stigma associated to being a single mother in the Philippines and if so how did you handle it?

Sep 18, 7:52AM EDT0

When I entered college, the catholic school that I was enrolled in had a lot of conditions like I shoudl be discreet of my situation, I was not allowed to post pictures of my daughter in any of my social media accounts or I would be kicked out of school. I felt discriminated, I felt unhappy during my stay in that catholic school. But now, my new school is very much open minded and they allow certain situations like mine

Sep 18, 7:34PM EDT0

I understand its hard having a baby at that age, I was 18 when I had my first one and I was always worried whether I would ever find someone who would take me and my daughter. Is or was that something that is on your mind too?

Sep 17, 1:13PM EDT0

Yes those thoughts were on my mind especially when there were times that I see happy couples, happy family, I get jealous and I get insecure because I want my daughter to feel the happiness of a complete and happy family. But as she grew up, I realized that I can live happily even if I don't have a partner, my main priority now is to raise my child on my own, have a stable income, build my future business. The right man will come in God's will. You don't have to worry about having no partner at the moment, you just have to live a happy single mom life with your child 😉😉

Sep 18, 7:27PM EDT0

If you would have the opportunity to send out one message to young girls, what would it be?

Sep 17, 8:03AM EDT0

To all the young girls, I would advice to be wise in making your decisions. Always pray and pray for guidance, when it come to dating boys, always pray to God to avoid heartbreak. Don't rush things. God knows what's best for all of us and every No to something is a new door to a Yes.Travel while you still can, go get a college degree, do what makes you happy, do your best at school, make your parents proud, make use of your talent. Do everything as long you know it will make you happy and most importantly glorify God in all things that you do.

Sep 18, 7:20PM EDT0

Is your daughter's dad involved at all?

Sep 16, 5:44AM EDT0

Yes he is involved. He visits my daughter often. He actually gives financial support but not consistently.

Sep 18, 7:14PM EDT0

What do you think you will enjoy most when your daughter grows up? Are you more like a friend to her or definitely her mum?

Sep 16, 4:23AM EDT1

The most fun moment of seeing a child grow is when they already know how to converse properly, asks questions about what they see, and more. I want to build a best friend like type of relationship for me and my daughter so that when she grows up, she will be open to share her secrets with me, have girl talks, talk about life. I want her to feel I am a one call away friend that is always willing to listen and give her advices like a sister or a best friend

Sep 18, 7:12PM EDT0

I understand you have a beautiful little girl now but at the time did you ever think of abortion?

Sep 16, 12:29AM EDT0

I won't be lying. Yes, abortion came across my mind when I knew I was pregnant at a really young age. I was afraid my parents won't accept me anymore, I was afraid that my life would suck, I was afraid I would never get a college degree and more. There are a lot of hows and what ifs. But I always pray to God to give me strength, guidance. That's why I made it up to this time.

Sep 18, 7:07PM EDT0

Are you on facebook or twitter?

Sep 15, 5:08PM EDT0

Yes I am.

Sep 18, 7:02PM EDT0

Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give to your daughter when she is older?

Sep 15, 11:15AM EDT1

I would advice her to do what makes her happy as long as you know that you're not violating any rules and you think you will glorify God, do what you think is best, always ask God for guidance and I will be with her through thick and thin 🙂

Sep 18, 6:41PM EDT0

How did your friends deal with your situation and are they still close to you?

Sep 15, 8:03AM EDT0

My friends are very supportive. They love my daughter so much, they even visit my daughter once in a while. They had accepted me for what I am and my daughter as well.

Sep 15, 11:00AM EDT0

That's really cool. Any of them have kids by now?

Sep 16, 7:21AM EDT0

How old is your little girl now?

Sep 15, 1:50AM EDT0

She's four years old. She's very smart and talented

Sep 15, 10:52AM EDT0

Is she going to kindergarten or school yet?

Sep 16, 7:37AM EDT0

You can be proud of yourself and grateful to your parents for standing by you. Do you still live with your parents or do you live on your own?

Sep 14, 11:48PM EDT0

I still live with my parents and they are very happy. hey wholeheartedly helped me raise my child.

Sep 15, 10:51AM EDT0
Show all 3 replies

Does the dad pay maintenance for your daughter or does his family help out?

Sep 14, 7:47PM EDT0

Sadly, the dad and the family doesn't pay maintenance ever since I got pregnant. But I understand because their family has no stable income and the siblings of my ex-boyfriend are still studying. Despite the shortcomings, I never took their rights when it comes to seeing my child. I don't want my child to feel incomplet. I want her to know she has a father and his father loves her so much.

Sep 15, 10:58AM EDT0
Show all 3 replies

How are you able to manage your studies and taking care of your child at the same time?

Sep 14, 11:29AM EDT0

It was hell!! I had to do a lot of things an extra mile than the usual. I had to wake up in the middle of the night to check on her, I had to learn to read her every cry and every move as a baby, I had to stay home, I had to do everything for the both of us but when you have love inside you all else will follow and you'll just be caught off guard that you are surviving!

Sep 14, 3:56PM EDT0
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What advice would you give to other girls in a similar situation?

Sep 14, 3:26AM EDT0

To the girls who are in the similar situation as mine:

1. Just continue living life. Our lives doesn't stop just because of we got pregnant or had a child at an early age.

2. Do not belittle yourselves, never ever.

3. Make your child your world.

4. Never be afraid to ask for your parents' guidance - not specifically financially.

5. Always do good. Think of it this way - whenever you are tempted to do something that isnot right, it is your child who will pay for that; karma.

6. Always have the love and patience inside you.

With all these, all else will follow.

Last edited @ Sep 14, 3:52PM EDT.
Sep 14, 3:52PM EDT0

Great advice, have you given talks or helped other girls in your situation?

Sep 16, 7:40AM EDT0

Are you in a relationship at the moment?

Sep 14, 3:25AM EDT0

No, I am not. I am currently focusing on my studies because I am in my last year in my college years. Also, this is the first school year wherein I enrolled my daughter to school. It's quite challenging but it's fun! At the moment, I have to focus on myself and my daughter (aside from the reason that my Mr. Right hasn't arrived yet, haha.

Sep 14, 3:48PM EDT0

Good on you. Wished more would be as responsible as you. Wishing you all the best!

Sep 16, 8:31AM EDT0

Did you have to drop out of school to have the time to raise your daughter?

Sep 14, 12:49AM EDT0

No. I never stopped school. When I got pregnant, I was in my last high school yeart and I cannot afford to stop. Luckily, the school where I was enrolled in that year considered my situation and allowed me to continiue with my studies but through home school.

Sep 14, 3:45PM EDT0

That's great, is that something you would tell other girls in your situation to ask the school as well? How many schools would do that?

Sep 16, 8:39AM EDT0
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